Kia ora e te whaanau,

I hope your week has been a good one! I’m writing to you from Wellington, where I’m currently attending a study tour alongside 30 other Principals from across the Waikato. Yesterday, we had the privilege of meeting with Erika Stanford, who shared her insights into current priorities for school funding and where she believes support is most needed.

We also had valuable discussions with the Secretary of Education, the President of the New Zealand Principals’ Federation, and leaders from the teachers’ unions. It’s been a thought-provoking and informative experience so far.

Although I won't be there, on Friday (tomorrow), we’ll be recognising Pink Shirt Day, an annual event that schools across Aotearoa and the world get behind to promote kindness and take a stand against bullying. At Puketaha School, this kaupapa aligns closely with our Values, and it offers a timely opportunity to reflect on how we treat one another.

At our Monday Hui, we had a chat with our tamariki about what bullying is and how it differs from other types of behaviour like rudeness, conflict, or unkind moments. While those things can be upsetting, they often stem from developing social skills or a lack of emotional awareness, rather than repeated targeted behaviour. Learning how to handle conflict, manage feelings, and build empathy are lifelong skills that our children are still developing and need regular guidance to strengthen.

At the same time, it's important we all recognise when something goes beyond a misunderstanding or a moment of dysregulation and becomes bullying. As adults, we’re often navigating when to step in and when to coach from the sidelines — allowing children the space to solve problems while knowing we’re there if they need support. This balance helps build confident, capable and resilient young people.

Defining Bullying

• Bullying is deliberate
  – It involves intentional actions that cause physical and/or psychological harm.
  – It is initiated by the person showing bullying behaviour, not a result of mutual conflict.
  
  
• Bullying involves a power imbalance
  – There is a real or perceived inequality between the person bullying and the person being targeted.
  – This imbalance can stem from differences in size, age, gender, social status, or other factors.
  
  
• Bullying is repeated
  – It typically happens more than once and may occur over a period of time.
  – The repeated nature and the threat of further incidents can cause ongoing fear and anxiety.
  – A person may bully the same individual multiple times.
  
  
• Bullying is harmful
  – It can result in short- or long-term physical, emotional, or psychological harm.
  

We also talked with our learners about what it means to be an upstander — someone who takes positive action when they witness unkind or bullying behaviour, rather than staying silent. A bystander might not intend harm, but doing nothing can make someone feel even more isolated. Tamariki were given strategies they can use to stand up for others in a safe and respectful way:

• Be a friend to the person on the receiving end
  
  
• Help change the situation or remove the person from it
  
  
• Speak up if they feel safe to do so
  
  
• Seek help from an adult
  
  

For many of our older children, online spaces and social media bring added challenges. Unfortunately, the anonymity and distance of a screen can sometimes lead to behaviour that’s riskier or less thoughtful. This is one of the reasons why platforms are typically restricted to ages 13 and up. If your child is using social media, we strongly encourage open, ongoing conversations about how to stay safe — setting accounts to private, being mindful about what’s shared, and knowing they can talk to you if something feels off. Monitoring devices and ensuring usage happens in shared spaces can also make a big difference. And, just like in real life, we want our kids to be digital upstanders too — calling out harmful behaviour and reporting it when necessary.

We look forward to seeing a sea of pink around the school tomorrow! It’s a small gesture that represents a big message: that kindness matters, and we all have a role to play in creating a safe and inclusive environment.

Wishing you all a lovely end to the week!

Ngaa mihi nui,
Nyree Olliver